He said he liked it here because you don’t shout as much as my mum. My sister told me what my eldest son had said to her. I laughed it off at the time, we’d had a morning. – to be honest I’d lost it over something. But, I really started to think about this and how that was so far from what I want to be. A shouty mum. I thought I was a fun mum. I know he doesn’t really mean it, but It gave me a big enough eye opener to realise I need to take a few deep breaths. I want my children to always want to cuddle up next to me. To play. To have fun. To be their sounding board. Their constant. I don’t get this a second time round  – Im here for all of it –  now. And god do I want to be self aware enough to enjoy it and be fully present.  I want to do my old lady proud and  immerse myself in the seasons. If that means less work more play, then so be it. It doesn’t mean that there won’t be hard times, but it means showing them a better when they do happen.

I want to be part of the change towards motherhood and work. We’re not supposed to burn out so that we can walk the tightrope of ‘balance’. If we’re conscious and check in with our selves, get into flow, we can make work respect and work for our role as mothers – not the other way round.